Before I start I have to say, if you are going through IVF or do so in the future please [try] NOT to read my story and compare. I did this and it’s not the move haha. Everyones circumstances are soo different and it is SO easy to think “oh my gosh I thought I had similar issues as her and my cycle went soo differently.” I am only continuing to share this because reading others stories did help me when I wasn’t comparing but using it as a way to connect with women who have done this.
So with that, lets catch up on whats been going on since my last post in June. We started the IVF retrieval cycle in July and retrieved in late August. The cliff notes of a retrieval cycle are below for those who are maybe not as familiar – not trying to mansplane š
- birth control for ~2 week to regulate
- ~10 days of shots (mine were 1 in the morning and 1 at night and then 1 in the morning and 2 at night)
- lots of check-ins to make sure everything is going smoothly – aka that your body is filling up with eggs. Sounds so weird but thats what happens you are bloated and full of lots and lots of eggs
- retrieval date is determined and you do a trigger shot
- retrieval where they go in and get all the eggs and fertilize the viable eggs to make a embryo
- they watch the viable embryos to ensure they are going through the process correctly (not all of them do) but the ones that do turn into blastocyst. You get those results about a 5ish days from your retrieval.
Mike did all of my shots for a few reasons but the number 1 reason I would recommend having your partner do them is it makes them an active participant in the experience. You are truly in it together. When it comes to things I did that helped consult your dr. because no shit I am not one and if I have learned anything it is that people have lots of opinions on what is right and wrong during this process. I found icing my stomach prior to the shots helped significantly!! I did not have a lot of side effects from the meds outside of the insane bloating and fatigue. Y’all the bloating towards the end is next level, I looked like I was pregnant and was waddling around the days leading up to the retrieval.Ā The retrieval itself was not terrible, they knock you out for a bit, tell you how many eggs they retrieved and then you’re on your marry way. The recovery was not amazing but nothing bed, Advil, a heating pad and miralax can’t help ;).Ā From there you either do a fresh implantation or freeze the embryos that made it to blast and have them genetically tested and then implant the embryos that “pass” genetic testing. We decided to genetically test which takes 2 weeks – the worst waiting game ever.
The numbers get cut at each step and it’s wild. You could have 100 eggs retrieved but only 40 are fertilized and then only 10 make it to blast and only 5 pass genetic testing (those are completely made up ridiculously high numbers). Our results were not what we were expecting or hoped for which obviously sucked big time to hear.
Cue Mama Mia Here We Go Again……because we wen’t right into a second retrieval which happened in October.
This round went a lot better – thank goodness!! Why? Honestly who the heck knows. People and my Dr. say that every month it is different eggs. Ā So I say Octobers eggs were more eager hahah. This is also the part that people have a lot of opinions on, what to do, what not to do, what supplements to take etc. One of my delays in writing this blog post is because of this topic and not knowing how to approach it. When I first started this “journey” (eye roll) I did not find comfort in reading forums or joining support groups, I found it in chatting with people on IG and listening to my doctor. Every time I started doing research I got more stressed and overwhelmed and for me that was the move. A great example of this is one night I was deep in a gals IG highlights who shared her detailed IVF journey and she said something about how she doesn’t take Advil anymore because you’re not suppose to. I started bawling crying because I had been taking Advil when I needed it. I happened to have an apt at the clinic the next day and I asked my nurse about taking Advil and she said it was fine during the retrieval process but we will discuss it for during transfer. There are a so many different views and choosing which is right for you is so important. If is going knee deep in reddit – great you go girl.
After getting the news that our first round was mainly unsuccessful I started doing more research and asking peers questions and the overwhelming answer was “you have to be your own advocate” which pissed me off and still kind of does. Why? Because for so much of life, mine at least, you are taught and told by doctors “don’t get on the internet”, “we will tell you what to do and not to do” and “again, don’t google this”….so I didn’t! I had the mindset “my dr. will tell me if I need to not be taking x med or not have too much caffeine or take these supplements, not work out, work out, etc” and sadly in my experience they didn’t…..unless I asked. I worry typing that because I have thoroughly enjoyed my experience at the clinic but have heard this theme from many people – that you have to be your own advocate and do your own research. But who is right? Sally Sue on facebook? There is probably someone reading this thinking I am naive or some other rude word but I have already called myself that and that is another reason I worried writing this. So be your own advocate, ask the questions and do what makes YOU feel comfortable because Sally Sue on the internet saying she doesn’t do/take X anymore during her retrieval cycle may be what her doctor told her OR it is something she has control over that is helping her mentally and emotionally deal with this process. Both reasons are of course fine but doesn’t automatically mean you have do it to. Another good example, it is widely known it is normally okay to keep up your normal exercise routine when pregnant but not to add anything crazy in. For me, when I was 6 weeks pregnant I went to pilates, told the instructor I was pregnant and did lighter ab work – I barely did the work out and cried when I left….working out early in pregnancy is not for me but that doesn’t mean anything to anyone else – it just something emotionally I can’t do.
Okay rant over. WeĀ are now prepping for a transfer, which involves more shots and estrogen – moody mc moody over here. All the fingers and toes and anything else you can cross are currently crossed! Next update will probably be in another few months – hopefully with good news!
p.s I never thought these posts would have a shapable section BUT IĀ got this caddy for all my meds and it has been amazing for keeping everything together and organized.
Who Needs Tubes?!
So my last, and first post about our journey to become parents ended with these points: I had one tube removed in March and the other doesn’t look great but we’re gonna test it and you don’t even need tubes to do IVF so it’s OK if I have to get the other removed.
Now fast forward to June. I got the HSG test on the first which showed that my left tube was not in working condition. We knew these results were a huge possibility so there wasn’t much shock there. I got an apt on the books with my IVF Dr. to discuss next steps (if it should be removed or not) later in the month and began packing for my 10 day east coast trip in the middle of the month. The plan was to start in New York for a friend from colleges wedding then visit my in-laws in CT during the week and then go visit a friend in New Jersey for the weekend. This was all kicking off on a Thursday and the Wednesday night before Mike and I went to dinner and I had 2 cocktails. 2. That night I woke up and felt like it was freshman year of college and I had just gone to my first date party….aka rough. The next morning I felt hungover and flu-ish which was odd considering I had 2 drinks – not hangover worthy. I thought maybe I had a stomach bug or just ate something that wasn’t sitting right (had negative covid tests) and that I could make it to NY and sleep it off on the plane…..lol. I was at the airport just long enough for Mike to get home and play 1 video game before I called and said “I am changing my flight to tomorrow, please come get me!” Again, no big deal – I would take the Friday flight and it would all be fine.
Jokes on me. That night along with the flu-ish symptoms I got terrible lower abdominal pain and was up the entire night. Around 5am I woke up Mike and we decided to go to the ER – I knew in my gut something wasn’t right and I was right. We beat the morning rush and were quickly admitted and the tests began. All of the symptoms turned out to be from an infection in my lone tube. My Dr. believes the infection was caused by bacteria that got in the tube during the HSG test, but because the tube was closed off it stayed in there versus moving through and my body naturally killing it off. Ā Once there was a plan in place, she even sweetly laughed and said “ok enough weird medical issues with your tubes, you’re done and I don’t want you back here unless it’s to have a baby”.
5 nights and 5.5 days in the hospital later I was discharged. In that time I was on antibiotics to bring down the infection, cried a lot, became besties with nurses, watched a lot of TV, made a morphine fueled Tik Tok and had my left tube removed. The two big silver linings? My IVF Dr. wanted me to have the tube removed anyways (just maybe not in this dramatic fashion) and post-surgery, by the grace of god, we were placed on the nicest floor of the building. Our IVF Dr. was thrilled to hear the tube was removed because it meant in a month, once I am fully healed, we are going to begin the 3-month IVF process!!!!!! Not gonna lie, it is a weird feeling knowing my body no longer has the “parts” to get pregnant naturally but I know that will dissipate once I am carrying!
Moral of the story – LISTEN to your body, you know it best. Oh and, don’t get on the flight. But truly, I cannot believe I almost got on the flight, like got it changed 20 minutes before boarding began. If this had gone down in New York, in my poor friends apartment….OY is all I can type.
Hopefully my next blog post is about hormones and shots!
xx
p.s if you’re wondering how Mike was…. snoring and sleeping away, unphased by the 2am and 4am nurse check-ins and blood draws.
Weekly Favorites
Infertility Awareness Week
It has been a minute since I have even been on this website but I have been having the itch to share / write down what has happened in the last few months. Ā AndĀ I still canāt decide if this is premature or too much but with everything, I have no chill so here I am.
The start to me and Mike’s journey to trying to become parents has had a rocky start. In December 2021 I found out I got pregnant on my IUD (insane I know, my doctor was shook but I hope Iām not scaring anyone), it didnāt stick (we think I was around 4 weeks) but it made us realize we were ready to start trying.
Soon there after, in March 2022, I got pregnant again and was so excited! At week 7 I had what we thought was a miscarriage, Mike was out of town (he never is) and it was an incredibly hard week but I was so thankful I had told a few friends who were able to be there for me. That Friday, I went to dry bar for a pick me up and left rushed in terrible pain. After talking to my Dr. I had a friend take me to the ER and my mom met me there. Hours upon hours later I was admitted to the hospital with a plan to have exploratory surgery in the morning because something was not normal . Thankfully Mike arrived the next morning right after I was out of surgery – a surgery that ended up being more than exploratory. While in that yellow dry bar chair trying to get my groove back, a ectopic pregnancy and a small cyst both burst 🤯 and they had to remove 1 of my fallopian tubes and the other 1 didnāt look so hot. Even reading that back is wild and honestly comical – after grieving the miscarriage I was getting some energy back and was trying to feel myself again and BAM I am one tube down and in pain. Also, clearly I am a ‘if you don’t laugh you’ll cry’ type person and am OK which is why I am able to share and say this with a bit of humor.
The thing keeping me from crying or worrying an exorbitant amount? Reading all the amazing infertility week stories of successful IVF babies. We are starting the next chapter of this journey next month and are feeling excited and hopeful.
Say hello back to the blog because Iāll be sharing the journey here. How many times have I said journey 🤦🏼♀️.
Oh wait, one last thing. There is a lot of stigma / conversation around telling people before 12 weeks that you are pregnant and I get it, I do but I also know I could not have gotten through the IUD pregnancy or everything in March without my girlfriends. I am [clearly] a sharer and so sharing the news is what felt most natural to me. So with all of that said and done, if you feel the desire to share with your people, share!
